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Those Crazy Football Rules

While we wait the couple of weeks before the Super Bowl, we can chat about how Pittsburgh and Seattle taught everybody else how to play football.

Do you watch March Madness? The team that ends up with the trophy is the one that has the endurance. Some years ago, Utah was in the final game. They pooped out before the end of the first half to my utter disappointment having spent 8 years of my life at the University of Utah.

March Madness, of course is basketball. Football is the more rugged game which would have been explained and described by Charles Darwin if it were invented in his day. However, American football came from Rugby. Thats the game where all the players have had their teeth knocked out but still love the game. Only the most fit survive.

I loved football when I was a kid. My mother would not let me put on the high school football uniform with all of the pads, helmet, and other protective devices. Because of that, those of us non-players went to the church grounds and played on the lawn without any uniforms with the safety gear. Our season ended when everybodys knees had turned to mush from playing tackle (without knee pads) rather than touch football.

In Korea we played tackle football with no protective gear. We could only do this when we were back in reserve. We played as hard as we could. If we broke a leg or an arm bad enough the worst that could happen to us would be that they would send us home. We couldnt play football on the line. We would have rolled down the mountain. (Besides we had telephone lines to repair during the day which got blown apart again every night. The lines were necessary to call in mortar fire at night on the mortar concentrations we set up during the day.)

No one ever received the slightest scratch in one of our tackle football games. Our season always ended when the C.O. said, No more tackle football. Youre going to get killed out there. (Each of us had heard that from the Regimental Commander when we joined the unit. He always said, Half of you will not be going home, not alive anyway. Thankfully, he was wrong. Our Regiment lost about 1000 G.I.s plus a large number of ROK soldiers that served in our units over the three years of the Korean War. When I was there, the losses were lower than before I got there and after I left.)

The above is called by football commentators a sidelight. I don't like sideline sob stories (or human interest stories) while watching television football any more than you liked the above sidelight.

Anyway, my wife has taken up football. After resisting for 70 years she finally gave in. She cant believe that she now likes football. What I mean is: She has not suited up yet. She likes to watch it on television. Therefore we now talk about the game.

Im usually reading a book or doing a logic puzzle during the game, but she gives it her full attention and she gives me a steady stream of chatter that actually gets me interested in the game.

Today she asked me about penalties and how they are applied. The penalty she was talking about was when Seattle had Carolina on the one yard line. It was a 5-yard procedural penalty. That meant the ball would be put half the distance to the goal. I said, I think that should be an automatic safety. The ball should be placed on the minus 4-yard line. Now I know that the refs probably have not had algebra, so they should just call it a safety.

My wife wanted to know more. I said, suppose you are on your opponents 16 yard line and they get a 15-yard penalty. The ball would be placed on the 1-yard line. Now suppose you are on the 14-yard line under the same circumstances. The ball would be placed half the distance to the goal and you would get the ball on the 7.5-yard line.

Stupid, right? (If I said the ball should be put on the minus 1-yard line, everybody would moan, "That's no way to get a touchdown!")

Heres what should happen in the second instance. The ball is put on the 1-yard line and then half the distance to the goal. You should be on the -yard line. They should give you as many of the penalty yards as possible and then the distance to the goal of whats left. That will always put you on the 1/2-yard line where you belong.

I also would like the fumble rules put back where they belong. The ground cant keep coming up and knocking the ball out of the players hands like that and getting away with it.

Well, Ive got to go feed my horse.

If you want to practice golf then you should do so correctly. Only go to the range if you have a specific purpose in mind.

I see far too many people at driving ranges with a bucket of 100 balls which they whip through in half an hour - or worse 15 minutes. If you play a round of golf and are a really good golfer (scratch) you will play 72 shots in about 4 hours and 15 minutes. So why do people whack 100 balls in 15 minutes and call that practise?

Firstly I think a hundred balls is far too much for the average golfer (remember the average golfer's handicap is over 18) per practice session. Let me explain.

When practising you should have something specific in mind. Whether that is to learn to draw the ball with a driver, practice chips, hit long or medium irons working the ball or whatever it is you should be there with a specific goal in mind.

Before you even start practising wear the right gear. By that I mean wear the same clothes you would if you were actually playing golf. Put on a golf shirt, golf trousers and golf shoes. Use a glove if you play with one. Do not get to the range from the office and hit balls in your work lounge shirt and work shoes.

To start off your practice session do some stretching. Ninety nine percent of people don't bother with this at all. They are on their way home from the office and expect their muscles to perform after sitting behind a desk all day. These same people probably warm up their motor vehicle before leaving for the office but don't give their muscles the same courtesy. How can we expect good results? In fact I've seen people injure themselves because of this bad practice.

OK so now you're correctly attired, you have stretched and resisted the temptation to buy 100 balls, having settled for 50. You have also allowed yourself enough time to do things properly and slowly. With 50 balls I would suggest between 45 minutes to an hour.

Before you hit the first ball go over in your mind what you plan to do and then let your muscles know. The way to do this is to pretend that you have selected a ball, selected a club and are ready to go. Follow the normal pre-shot routine you would if you were at the golf course. With club in hand approach the "ball" from behind, select your target line and step up to the imaginary ball. Go through the motion of a full swing, without a ball. Practising exactly what you have come to work on. Get feedback from the feeling in your hands, legs, club, takeaway, follow through and body. Repeat the exercise one more time without a ball.

If all feels right go ahead this time with a golf ball. Analyze the feedback and determine if the ball did what you intended. Make a mental or physical adjustment if required for the next shot.

Now look over at the cubicle next to you and you will see another player on his 7th ball. He is simply lashing away and getting rid of his bucket as if each ball has the plague!

Repeat the process for each of the 50 balls in your bucket. After about the 10th or 12th ball the neighbor in the next cubicle will have been replaced with a new machine gunner. Do not let this worry you.

With each ball in your bucket go through the routine you would on a golf course and have at least 2 practice swings for each ball that you hit.

By doing this you will have had 150 practice swings, each with a particular purpose in mind. It should take you about an hour and you should have had at least 3 different neighbors during this time - if not you may have gone too fast.

You will probably also find that you will be a bit more exhausted than you normally would be after lashing 100 balls in double quick time.

Slow down, practice with a purpose and enjoy the experience. You will find that practice sessions become beneficial.

You are welcome to reproduce this article provided you do not change anything including my bio box.

As a qualified EGTF golf professional teacher I get great pleasure in helping people improve their game. Why not head over to Better Golfing and take up my challenge to reduce your golf handicap by 25% within 6 weeks?